Thanks For Coming!

For those of you wondering and enquiring where MY dating stories have gone, you should know it’s not that I’m holding back – I’ve simply been on a dating hiatus. Due to the fact I haven’t found anyone that interests me in this one horse town in quite a while, and that I have some personal/professional things happening that are more pressing, I decided to save my energy and time and cool down.

Sucks, but true.

I have been offered sex from Facebook Guy any time I’d like…..so there’s always that in my back pocket. Yippee.

Spent the day yesterday with Male Me. I still find it strange to refer to him as such since is clearly not, but let’s proceed. We’re friends, and I’m going to go out on a limb to say it’s only because we never slept together. We have fun and it’s not all that different from spending time with a girlfriend. Except he doesn’t shop, gossip or crave dessert. Soooo…… I guess it’s not quite as fun. We walked around the city and decided to have lunch outside on a gorgeous Spring day.

Within moments of being seated, this exceptionally chipper server approaches us with a big smile, how do you do and hey where are you guys from? We explained we were locals and I spent the rest of the afternoon pondering if I should be flattered or insulted by this remark?

The server returned about 3 more times, clearly bordering on too friendly/annoying and exceptionally attentive, before we placed our drink and lunch orders. I asked for a few suggestions and opinions on the tuna burger and he ordered the lobster roll without hesitation. I was acknowledged with a huge smile, thoughtful responses and repeated check-ins to see how I/we were doing.

After about 40 minutes of dining and sharing stories, Male Me looks over and says, you do know our server is totally into you right? I laughed immediately because I was sensing the same thing as well.

Let’s just say my glass was never more than half empty, we never longed for condiments and I was asked no less than a half-dozen times if everything was up to my expectations. This was more than good service, this was flirting.

Watch, I’m going to the bathroom and I can guarantee who will be sitting here when I return! I kinda waited to be pounced on myself in a nervous/flattering sorta way. But alas, being a man, he returned rather quickly, so there wasn’t ample time to test the theory. Shortly after, the server did return to chat and attempt to convince us into dessert before we just requested the check.

As Male Me was signing the credit card slip, he looks up and says , ya know, you could simply write your number here on the slip…..half-joking but secretly wishing I would, for his own amusement.

The catch you ask?

If you haven’t guessed yet, our server was a woman.  Because if our server was a man this would surely never happen!

Times like this make me so jealous of my gay and lesbian friends who are so much more open and direct about flirting and showing interest. Male Me agreed and we both took 10 seconds wondering what it would be like to escape the God-awful world of hetero dating and experience what seems like the carefree, no bullshit, direct approach of gay courtship.

Then the 10 seconds passed, we laughed, said goodbye to our waitress and headed on our way.

Back to the drawing board.

2 responses to “Thanks For Coming!

  1. mysweetestwords

    Hilarious!!