Tag Archives: bachelor

My Virtual Boyfriend – Part 1

Sad to admit this was the last encounter I had dating, and to be honest, it sorta sucked the wind out of me and left me with no idea how to relay the story.

A guy online contacted me and when I reviewed his profile I thought, “oh this is good. But…” It was well written, said all the things I wanted to hear and more importantly, had no red flags or deal breakers. but he wasn’t my type. I just didn’t know if I could picture myself with him. There wasn’t anything wrong with him, his features were nice….but I wasn’t drawn to him or picking up a vibe that we’d connect. I decided I would go outside my comfort zone and at least see if he had any personality, anything about him that intrigued me. Nothing ventured, nothing gained right?

The next few days were exciting and fun, filled with emails, calls and texts from him…as we got to know one another and some of the crazy coincidences we had in common. We grew up about 30 miles from one another. We went to the same college and lived in the same dorm (he being older than me, we never overlapped), we both studied abroad our junior year, in the same European city. Both have moved around and had careers combined of freelance and full-time positions and lived in several cities. Both nomadic, sarcastic, sharp but emotional and sensitive. And then I found out he lived in my same building in New York City. Ten years prior. That’s just crazy, of all the places in New York he lived in my exact building? Beyond coincidence, this was kismet.

So what’s the catch? Yeah, of course there’s one…. He doesn’t live in New York currently. He’s down south and thinking about possibly returning, but meanwhile has family matters to attend to. “Why did you list you lived in NY?” “Oh, that’s the type of woman I want to meet. And who knows, maybe I’ll return.” After extensive conversations of me explaining that by no means was I looking for a long distance relationship or a pen pal he seemed to agree he wasn’t either. How he’s ready to settle in and settle down and wants to share his life with a great woman.

The talks were then followed up by others just as intimate, personal, compelling and revealing. Every day, hours a day for nearly three weeks. This went on for weeks, the daily calls, emails and texts. And then things got REALLY complicated. There is that new stage a/k/a honeymoon phase when you first meet someone and they want to make the best possible impression so they tell you only the good stuff….and of course that’s all you hear anyhow even if there are some red flags peppered into passing conversation. So I’m thinking a month passed before I got the truth out of him. And it was a doozey. Even for me.

He had lived in NY amongst a few other cities, but circumstances now had him living with his 85-year-old mother –in Florida. So not only was he not living in NYC, the likelihood of him coming back to NY was slim. By this time we had spent countless hours speaking, confiding and sharing with one another – clearly on a friendship level….well, at least for me. You see he thought he was my boyfriend. He even referred to me as his girlfriend on the phone on more than one occasion. You mean your virtual girlfriend??

So where does this get even stranger?…..He had no money (pretty much a given with the men I meet) and couldn’t afford to “fly up and take me out the way I deserved.” So instead, he just never came at all. I think he actually enjoyed the no strings dynamic of a phone girl friend while I had bigger fish to fry as my life was coming apart at the seems and I prepared myself for another potential upheaval and career change. What did I get out of it you ask? A confidant and friend who lent an ear and who I reciprocated tenfold. A friend….with sexual overtones….but no actual sex. Phone sex is fun for about ten minutes and then I put the kaibosh on that shit.

This continued for about 3 months with his calls only amping in frequency and intensity. Then I planned a trip down to Florida for something else and decided we should meet up.

We did… 

An Open Letter to My Future Husband

Dear Future Husband,

As we were in the early stages of getting to know one another, I thought it was only fair to point out a few things about myself that perhaps, may not be so obvious. I mean, how could you know all the angst and frustration I’ve been through in my dating life? How could you know I’m prone to anxiety and that I’m extremely impatient? – Meaning I am more of what you would call “impulsive” I suppose. How could you know that as much as I trust no man that I date (until he proves that I can, in fact trust him), I still easily fall for someone and can get hurt more easily than I’d like. How could you know that I actually take you for your word and want to believe you when you say you are speaking the truth. Thing is, I don’t really think I’m unique in any of these aspects, I kind of think most women think and believe these things…but hey…how could you know?

To help us both out, I thought it might be useful to exemplify the worst-case scenario of what not to do. What not to say and how not to act, in order to avoid these types of situations for both of our betterment.

 

1. Please do not set a date for a week away after having our initial conversation. I realize, of course, sometimes this is unavoidable, but it’s usually best to move quickly while the iron is hot so to speak. If we do have a week lag before meeting please skip to number 2.

2. Please do not call me twice a day every day and fill that in with multiple texts and emails, specifically when you wake and go to sleep. It’s only going to make me believe you are constantly thinking about me, excited to meet me and that we have an unexplainable connection before ever meeting face to face. All this will do is paint a picture in my mind that you are exactly what I’m looking for, thoughtful, attentive, interested and into me.

This also applies to speaking of the future in any sense. Any plans for the two of us, how we will be doing laundry together, taking weekend trips etc. Don’t even allude to these things. It’s really just putting the horse before the cart. If I could count all the boats, trips and summer homes I’ve been “invited to” prior to a first date I would have been living it up like Beyonce’.

3. On our date, please don’t continue to talk of future plans and then be stroking my hands before dessert comes. Don’t lean in and kiss me at the table repeatedly and act lovingly when we’ve known one another for 3 hours.

4. Please don’t act so interested in my life and my family and wanting to tell me the minutiae of yours. Again, it’s only going to give me the impression that you care and really want to know.

5. Please don’t comment about how fantastic the date is and then proceed to compliment me while you’re crafting the perfectly ideal romantic evening. It really sets the bar quite high that you’re enjoying yourself and having a great time.

6. Please do make mention of another date or plans for another date before the evening is over. It makes me feel you are genuinely interested and sets my mind at ease as to whether I’ll ever see you again. Saying “I’ll call you tomorrow” only works if I believe it’s true.

7. When you do call the next day and end the call, don’t say, “Let’s get together next week. But I’m really busy so I don’t know when. So maybe Wednesday. I don’t know.”

When Wednesday comes and goes and I don’t hear from you I’m already starting to rage that you are inconsiderate and rude, and likely not interested.

8. When you do text me and it’s mundane conversation with no mention of a date, I’m going to wonder WTF and why are you bothering. I’ll assume I’m on your back burner with something or someone of higher importance cooking. I’m also going to wonder how you had so much time last week in your busy schedule to call me twice a day when now you’re barely texting once.

9. So here’s the thing…..I’m going to call you out at some point. I’m going to give you an opportunity to bow out gracefully and be on your merry way. If you don’t have the balls to say, “I don’t think we’re a match” (despite said words and behavior) I’m going to open the door and gently assist you. You see, here’s how we’re different….when I go on a date and have a great time….I actually would like to see you again. And not in a week or two from now. BUT, if it’s unavoidable, I’m going to express my interest and keep the momentum going….to show I am thoughtful and interested in you! That’s how normal people date.

10. Please, when I give you the opportunity to say See Ya…please take it if you have no intention of calling me or seeing me again. What does it accomplish for you to say “we’ll make a date soon!” Why bother? Why keep me lingering? It’s really quite cruel and unfair actually. Unless of course you’re a 15-year-old boy, then of course it’s perfectly par for the course. If I didn’t like you, or had some balls of my own, I would reply with “don’t bother!” What self-respecting woman is going to sit and let a man follow-up for a second date weeks after the first when you were probably not busy with work so much, but more like testing out another relationship you were unsure of.

11. Please I beg you, don’t follow up the “soon” conversation by sending me a text saying “you’ll call me tonight to talk about what’s going on…things haven’t been easy for you lately, you have so much going on…bla bla bla…..”…………..and then NEVER CALL…..again….ever.

 

I’d be lying if I didn’t say this one stung. Although nothing really shocks or surprises me, it still angered, then upset then disappointed me…

Girl gets up off bike, bandages herself up, picks up the bike, and gets back on it to take another ride.

 

Dutch Boy

I’m always fascinated by the ever popular dating topic of who pays and when.

I’ve never really thought of it as being a big deal until I started hearing repeated stories from male friends about women calling it quits early on due to the way a man handles or deflects the bill when presented. It’s amazing how a perfectly wonderful evening can come to a screeching halt when the check comes and no one reaches for it, or the woman reaches….and the man says “cool, thanks!”

Just last week I had lunch with a male friend of mine and when I enquired about his love life he told me about a woman he had been on a few dates with.

“Everything was going great, we went out a few times, great girl, very attractive, lots in common and then…nothing. I texted her about a follow up date and she ignored me. I couldn’t possiby understand what went wrong and how she could have lost interest so quickly. Turns out, she admitted when she took out her credit card to pay for the chinese food and I let her pay she was completely annoyed and offended and said I wasn’t the kind of man she was looking for. Meanwhile, I just didn’t want to offend her by insisting on paying. I know women will get insulted if you don’t let them pay when they offer.”

Okay, first off….women will NOT get insulted if you do not let them pay! They will however hold it against you if you do them pay. Let’s just call a spade a spade here. Women offer to pay but as modern or progressive as they may be, they actually have no intention or desire to pick up the bill. Not in the early stages of dating which is say, dates 1-4 or 5. He had no clue. Or chose not to.

What I’ve learned is this. Do not offer to pay unless you are fully prepared and willing to. You can’t offer and then hold it against him. You can, however, make a decision as to whether you’d like to continue seeing them based on such behavior.

Which brings me to my date with Dutch Boy.

So many things that went sour in my brain and indicated his utter cheapness but it capped off with me asking him if he was hungry since it was 7 pm and he says “Not really, I don’t really eat much. Food isn’t important and I don’t have much of an appetite.” First date, I let the food component slide, but this was date two…it’s 7 pm, I’d like to eat. I was hungry so we agreed on the local place I take many of my dates to. We coincidentally sat in the same table where Hearts and Flowers Guy and I sat.

We each ordered a beer and some hummus sampler (I ate most of which). Conversation was fine and perfectly enjoyable but I was starting to feel the romantic connection slipping away. The bill came as I was getting up to go to the bathroom. When I returned, the bill was STILL sitting there with no form of payment on it. I knew exactly what that meant as it was clearly intentional. He THEN reached for his wallet and so I merely glanced at the check when he uttered “$20 from each of us should be good.”

 
Actually my friend……that would be the OPPOSITE of good, but I’m glad you are showing who you are and your preferred and chosen lifestyle to me now because I just lost my lady-wood in a big way. I was so turned off it amazes me how dumb a guy can be for $20. I mean, let’s just say there was a chance of him getting laid…..well, there was NONE after that outburst. Schmuck. Nothing went wrong on the date, it wasn’t malicious, just his choice. As a matter of fact, I’m pretty sure he was into me.
It was raining and early and I was bored and awake, so we came back to my apt to watch tv and hang out and perhaps make out a little. I’ve never been so cognizant and lucid of what was and wasn’t going to happen. Nice guy, means well, totally clueless as to how offensive and stupid that little move of his was. Normally in a situation like that since he doesn’t live in the city, I’d likely let him sleep over even if we weren’t going to have sex. But Dutch Boy was getting none of my hospitality at this point. Was able to seal the deal when he opened up and told me he keeps women’s underwear as souvenirs. You mean like the way serial killers do?
 
I think you’d better go grab that bus back to Jersey.

It’s Not me….It’s You

 

 

 

More stories coming soon….hold your horses will ya
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I Should Know Better But….

Been on a hiatus the last month, no dating since that jackass with the iced tea that made me buy my own drink. That left the taste of sour milk in my mouth and I was more than happy to get away, go on vacation and relish my unencumbered and celibate status.

As my life has been a series of vagabond adventures and travels, it seems as though I may be picking up and hitting the road again soon. No need to go into further explanation as this is a dating and relationship blog, not a personal diary, but I mention it because I changed my location on an online profile just to get a taste for what was out there in my potentially new city.

I was completely honest in my profile, mentioning how I travel back and forth, but likely planning to move back. After weeding through a selection of utterly undesirables and guys I might consider if I was bored, I stumbled upon a man who caught my attention in a way I haven’t seen in quite a while.

He had 7 or 8 photos up in various locales and poses, one more fetching than the next. Right up my alley, so cute I wanted to literally jump into the computer screen and crawl into his lap. The kind of guy I know without question I will be attracted to and wanting to jump his bones before the main course is served. Add to that a compatibility rating of 95%. Ninety-five fucking percent with only 2% chance of becoming enemies. Sounds ridiculous I know, but the way okcupid.com works is actually based on the metrics of some very vague and very specific questions about preferences, beliefs, opinions and stances on topics in ethics, sex, lifestyle, dating and “other.” If I’m answering 200+ questions on my beliefs, preferences and lifestyle choices, there’s going to be some accuracy on this rating system. The method of course, does not account for physical attraction, but that goes without saying.

So as far as the photos, check. Compatibility, check. Obvious flaws, red flags or baggage listed? Nope. Check. Has a job/career, check. Similar interests, check. Oh, and did I mention I wanna rape him? I’ve never met him and I already feel like a giddy school girl. This is where it gets bad and I should know better. He’s perfect on paper, and that’s never a good thing. Besides it likely not being true, all it does is build my expectations and anticipation and that’s never a good thing when drawn out over a long period of time.

Taking a step back, he invited me for drinks while I was in town, but due to my schedule and him having to work we couldn’t coordinate getting together. We playfully texted back and forth and he asked when I’d be back in town again. I mentioned that I’d likely return in the next few weeks unless he was interested in a road trip. (Just putting it out there, I figured). He was into it, although I’m not sure exactly what those parameters would be. Nothing ventured nothing gained I figure. He said we should get together and plan something for the second week of September. This of course feels like a lifetime and I’m well aware that is just ample time for me to obsess and him to meet someone else or lose interest. Great!

Do I keep the banter going? Will that make me look too interested? Do I play cool and risk him losing interest? Out of sight out of mind. It all brings about the question I often ponder…..Do men and women get more excited about meeting someone for the first time with the anticipation of the unknown and the hope and promise that brings?…..or the second date after you’ve already met the person and know what you’re getting?

I have no answers but I do know that any time a guy has gone over the top in almost obsessive behavior (i.e.: Still Married Guy) it surely leads to a rapid demise of whatever pipe dream they had in their heads. If they are soooo into you before even meeting, it’s almost certainly a red flag and grounds for disappointment.

Been there done that. Let’s see how this plays out.

Time Changes (Almost) Everything

I rarely go back and read old diary or journal posts. Likely because the writing was for therapeutic and not literary purposes. I have, however, gone back and read many of my blog posts just to try to remember how I thought or felt about a person as compared to the present day, post dating/relationship etc.

I’m not going to lie, sometimes I cringe – trying to recall what could have possibly led me to think or feel so strongly way towards someone whose name I can  now barely recall. How many times I’ve come home from a date and in my school girl naiveté profess how much I love them! Not love of course, but think they are the shizzz. Instead of actually just being a shit head, which many turned out to be once the novelty wore off.

I also often wonder how I’ve remained friends (even close) with some men I’ve dated and how others simply dropped off the face of the Earth and out of my life. My scientific and curious side tried to find a pattern – like I only remained friends with guys I’ve never slept with…..or those I only dated a few times….or those that I never really had strong feelings for. But none of those were true or consistent. The pattern was…. there was no pattern. It’s a crap shoot with one exception – if a guy really hurt me, or screwed me over or lied to me or treated me poorly or disrespectfully, odds are we are not currently friends.

One reason that made me think of this recently was a somewhat related conversation I had with Male Me. He insisted that sex changes everything and that it is virtually impossible to have a friendship with a woman and have sex with her (while not dating her just to be clear). You know, friends with benefits…fuck buddies…..call it what you like. We are all products of our own experiences so obviously this hasn’t worked for him. I’ll agree there is a slippery slope when it comes to friendship and sex but I don’t believe the two are mutually exclusive. I don’t believe there is one specific formula that works and another that is doomed, but clearly if one party has feelings for the other and there is sex, and the other party doesn’t want emotional attachment….well, that’s usually a recipe for disaster.

So what changes in a person to allow this evolution? Time can certainly be a factor. So does getting to know a person. The guy who I thought was my soul mate after two dates suddenly moves to the category of ‘wouldn’t touch him with a ten foot pole’ after getting to know him for 6 months. However, what was once a crush can now be a deep respect and fondness that is shared amongst friends who have let their guards down enough to have a genuine friendship.

The only gray area in this scenario is what happens when one friend gets involved with a new romantic partner? Is there jealousy? Does the new partner understand or appreciate why their boyfriend/girlfriend is maintaining a friendship with an ex or almost ex? That’s where it gets sticky and sometimes friendships don’t survive when the new girlfriend/boyfriend turns into a wife/husband. A lot of men can’t juggle the girl “friend” AND the girlfriend and I’ve sadly cut off friendships when a male friend only has time for me in-between relationships. I’m not going to be filler for anyone, I care too much and I take my friendships (male or female) seriously.

I’m not going to say time heals all wounds, but it certainly brings clarity to most situations. Granola and I are good friends who occasionally sleep together. Facebook Guy and I are friends, but guarded ones. Male Me and I are friends again after a period of not speaking. I feel like we are in a good place and I genuinely care about him and enjoy his company with no remorse of what never happened or could have between us. It took time to get to this place, but I think we’re in the clear.

Still Married Guy is another story altogether.

I don’t talk about him to anyone as everyone around me (including blog readers) seems to think I’m an idiot for spending a millisecond of my time pining for him. I’ve actually received nasty and angry messages from readers calling me stupid and blind to pursue anything with him after being hurt and dejected. As if I’m the first and only person to do that! But the truth is, I think about him almost every day. And it’s been 6 months since I saw him, and almost that long since we’ve spoken.

I couldn’t read his Facebook updates they both enraged and saddened me. But I also couldn’t de-friend him either. I couldn’t cut the strings. I know he still checks my profile and looks at my pictures since he occasionally leaves a remark or thumbs up.

It’s amazing how one part of me can recall the hurtful things he said and did, not to mention leading me on and breaking my heart. But the other part still thinks about him even after 6 months and misses him dearly. I don’t know if I could ever just be friends with him – or if I’d care to. Saddest part is we could have been great friends had we never slept together. A fact that I think he knew and likely regretted from the get-go.

We could have been a great “something” together and now…..now he’s just somebody that I used to know.

Rejection…The Gift That Keeps On Giving!

I haven’t been on a date in a few months, and I felt it was my duty (read: bored) to get back up on the horse, go out with some guy and then come home and write about it for your amusement.

A seven-day trial on Match.com is more than ample time for me to weed through  the latest crop. Actually, two days is enough for me to hate everyone, but this gives a little wiggle room.  A literal needle in the haystack. That’s what it is to find someone “normal” attractive, actually single, age appropriate with a minimal amount of visible baggage. (We won’t address the full set of luggage hidden in the trunk)

I find a guy, nice and tall, salt and pepper hair, professional, never married, no kids, local and somewhat witty with quite a bit in common with me. I reach out to him and he writes back. It’s friendly, flirty banter and I like what I see so far. As the second round of emails makes its way, well, so does the hammer.

Bla bla bla…seems like we have quite a few things in common. I am pretty forthcoming, so I wanted to let you know I have started seeing someone enough  that I have not been active on Match or making dates. It is early on, but I wanted to respond because you were thoughtful enough to email and a kind response is easy. If my circumstances change I hope it is okay to reach out and we can talk about 2 letter words and caramels.*

* reference to Scrabble and a line from Good Will Hunting where Matt Damon offers to take Minnie Driver out for caramels.

So as far as piss off letters go, that’s a pretty nice one. I’ve actually had that happen where they do come back (I’m rarely interested at that point), and then again, some times they don’t. Easy come easy go.

Then I had what I thought was a karma, holy shit the planets are aligning moment. That lasted about ten minutes.

I was on LinkedIn, doing my usual networking repertoire when a photo pops up in the corner with a suggestion of someone to connect with. I immediately recognize the photo. It’s a guy who I spoke with a few years back when we were both in New York and  immediately deemed him my ideal man. We exchanged a few messages and then he revealed he was moving to L.A. in a week or he would have liked to get to know me. Low and behold, his profile changed to West Hollywood one week later. I knew he worked in entertainment and that was it. My dreamboat off to the other coast. For whatever reason, I saved him in my favorites list, just in case he ever came back. Wishful thinking I suppose. My exact type, if I ever needed a reminder of what that looked like.

So cut to current day, a few years later and there is his face, the exact photo he used in his dating profile was also his LinkedIn photo (note: never do that) and the LinkedIn Gods wanted me to connect with him. We had mutual contacts and he even worked at the same company as me some years ago. It’s meant to be, I thought! I’m going to reach out in the guise of a work/contact effort but then in the most non-stalker way, bring up the fact that we had once spoken but location was not on our side. OMG, it’s kismet, I’ve got so many excuses to contact him, I just need to do it in a friendly, cool manner. I wonder if I can get a cheap flight to L.A.? I wonder if he’ll remember me? I wonder what our kids would look like?

Hey wait, now that I know his full name, perhaps I should look him on Facebook first to see what else I can discover. So excited, so excited!! He’s just as cute as cute as I remember as I start looking through his profile shots.

Who’s that girl in the picture? Is that his sister? Hmmm…..she appears to be Vietnamese so I’m going to say no on that one. Maybe they’re friends, I could have sworn I saw him on-line not that long ago. Oh let me read the comments…..

Congratulations! So happy for the two of you!

Hey, those pictures look great, can’t wait to hear how you proposed in Italy!!

Where’s the ring? I have to have you guys over for a BBQ.

So…….yeah, I decided not to send the email after all. As the echo of a game show loser’s WOMP WOMP WOMP went off in my head and I realized that not everything happens for a reason.

Then a 3’7″ man wrote me a letter asking me out.

So I went out for cocktails during lunch today. Yeah, I deserve it.

Thanks For Coming!

For those of you wondering and enquiring where MY dating stories have gone, you should know it’s not that I’m holding back – I’ve simply been on a dating hiatus. Due to the fact I haven’t found anyone that interests me in this one horse town in quite a while, and that I have some personal/professional things happening that are more pressing, I decided to save my energy and time and cool down.

Sucks, but true.

I have been offered sex from Facebook Guy any time I’d like…..so there’s always that in my back pocket. Yippee.

Spent the day yesterday with Male Me. I still find it strange to refer to him as such since is clearly not, but let’s proceed. We’re friends, and I’m going to go out on a limb to say it’s only because we never slept together. We have fun and it’s not all that different from spending time with a girlfriend. Except he doesn’t shop, gossip or crave dessert. Soooo…… I guess it’s not quite as fun. We walked around the city and decided to have lunch outside on a gorgeous Spring day.

Within moments of being seated, this exceptionally chipper server approaches us with a big smile, how do you do and hey where are you guys from? We explained we were locals and I spent the rest of the afternoon pondering if I should be flattered or insulted by this remark?

The server returned about 3 more times, clearly bordering on too friendly/annoying and exceptionally attentive, before we placed our drink and lunch orders. I asked for a few suggestions and opinions on the tuna burger and he ordered the lobster roll without hesitation. I was acknowledged with a huge smile, thoughtful responses and repeated check-ins to see how I/we were doing.

After about 40 minutes of dining and sharing stories, Male Me looks over and says, you do know our server is totally into you right? I laughed immediately because I was sensing the same thing as well.

Let’s just say my glass was never more than half empty, we never longed for condiments and I was asked no less than a half-dozen times if everything was up to my expectations. This was more than good service, this was flirting.

Watch, I’m going to the bathroom and I can guarantee who will be sitting here when I return! I kinda waited to be pounced on myself in a nervous/flattering sorta way. But alas, being a man, he returned rather quickly, so there wasn’t ample time to test the theory. Shortly after, the server did return to chat and attempt to convince us into dessert before we just requested the check.

As Male Me was signing the credit card slip, he looks up and says , ya know, you could simply write your number here on the slip…..half-joking but secretly wishing I would, for his own amusement.

The catch you ask?

If you haven’t guessed yet, our server was a woman.  Because if our server was a man this would surely never happen!

Times like this make me so jealous of my gay and lesbian friends who are so much more open and direct about flirting and showing interest. Male Me agreed and we both took 10 seconds wondering what it would be like to escape the God-awful world of hetero dating and experience what seems like the carefree, no bullshit, direct approach of gay courtship.

Then the 10 seconds passed, we laughed, said goodbye to our waitress and headed on our way.

Back to the drawing board.

More Red Flags Than a Russian Embassy

This is an actual email I received not too long ago, that quite frankly, I didn’t know what to do with. Here was a very attractive guy, educated, good job and seemed sweet in our brief exchange on Match.com. Then he wrote me this letter…

My first thought was WTF?! Second was, when is he going to ask me for money?Third, is this for real? Fourth, if it is – where does one even begin? And fifth, why, why why would anyone construct a letter like this?

Despite him being very handsome, how could I ever date someone with terrible grammar, questionable English and a proclivity to overuse LOL.

You decide.

Good Morning Princess Charming,

Thanks for sharing your email address with me.  i think we’re off match.com raider now . LOL

I am a Ukrainian by birth, born in the Golden,Colorado to a family of two (My sister and me). I lost my parent in an auto crash 12years ago in Bahamas, while they were on a vacation. My sister and i do not really get along because she went contradictory to be wish of my parents, getting married to a drug dealer. 

I attended high school and college in Colorado, and got my degree in Colorado School of Mines. I’m  a freelance miner/Engineer in the oil field , I’m working off a contract job for an oil company in Alaska(Offshore) I own  my house, I love my job too. I moved sometimes in Sept. last year to start a new life after the long morn of my parents. I needed a change of environment for a new start.

I went through your profile and email you sent me over and over again and from what I’ve read about you I can say you have an amazing personality which is great and you strike me as someone who knows what she wants hhhmmmmm, I like that too..Sincerity I felt that in your profile.. You seem like a very kind and genuine woman who knows what she wants, which is something I certainly like.  I’m pretty particular with the type of woman that I’m looking for, so when I find one with such a nice profile as yours, I want to make sure I can explore her more.To me, i believe age is nothing but numbers and it is not a relationship criteria. I don’t see it as a deal breaker in as much as my partner is young at heart and posses great personality.

I am starting to get tired of the online dating, I have been in to it for over 3 weeks now and still haven’t met anyone that can make me say wow its been worth while, a friend of mine Daniel, we worked together on an Oil rig offshore of sometimes ago met his wife on match.com that was what motivated me, well I guess meeting someone special isn’t the easiest thing.  I’m actually not a billionaire as most lady are looking for on Match, But i believe i’m something more. Haha .  I’m a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on me, who will lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat, or will stay awake just to watch you sleep… I’m the boy who kisses your forehead at every slightest opportunity just to show you how much i care about you,  a man who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats, who holds your hand in front of his friends, who thinks you’re just as pretty without makeup on. One who is constantly reminding you of how much I care and how lucky I am to have you…. I’m the man who turns to my friends and says, ‘that’s her.’”

 I know you must be wondering why i’m still single or why i never considered getting married in the past .  Well the answer is, I’ve once met with true love and someone i was deeply in love with and we both had plans to marry and settle down, but unfortunately we were not allowed to get married base on religious background. She’s an Arab princess i met sometimes ago in Dubai ( She was a Muslim and from a royal family and I’m a Christian ). The second woman i would have taking the bold step of stepping into marital life with was an actress who ended up cheating on me on several occasion while i was away for job so we later ended the relationship and went our separate ways , though recently she started calling wanting and begging to come back, but  I told her ” I’m sorry i’ve gotten over you” and i stop talking to her. Since then promised myself that i will only settle down with the right woman and not until i find that woman , I won’t settle for anything less than someone who has a great personality, who is committed and is looking for a serious relationship.

 I’m a very down to earth man….i like the outdoors especially going to the beach and camping….going to the movies and fishing. I’m very honest and open minded….my life is like an open book so whatever you wanna know all you need is just ask. I like to do anything that seems fun at my free time.I love watching Movies,romance, action and comedy. The simple things in life mean the most to me. Peace, love, family, stability… I am happy if those around me are happy, so I strive to make people happy.

I’m a team player. I like consensus. I am honest, sometimes to a fault, but I don’t believe that people benefit from being told only what they want to hear, and sometimes the truth isn’t the easiest thing to hear, but it’s worth it, because it makes us more aware, better, stronger people. I’m hardworking, affectionate and loyal and was raised on very traditional values of honor. I believe in treating others as I would want to be treated. I’ve traveled all over the world (Canada, Scotland, England, Japan.) but if you’re a real traveler, you’ll know, there’s no place like home. I do, however, have a soft spot in my heart for Japan and Japanese culture and customs.

I don’t date around,.I would love to have someone who has honor, trust, compassion, a good sense of self esteem, and communication skills to share my life with, but if I have not found her yet, I can enjoy my own company! I would rather be alone than be with the wrong person, I guess I just got to the point. that going out with someone just because they think I am “handsome”, goes no where, unless they are “real” and can see beyond the outside package.   I love been involved in activities that involved giving back to people less fortunate and the community, and how we impact those around us, is what they remember when we are all gone. Does not matter if they are poor, rich, red, white or blue. Making people feel valued and important is a gift not many people have and I’m glad I have that gift.  Wow ! I’ve said a lot . LOL  I hope i’ve not bored you with my email.   . I await to read back from you telling me more about you, like what you are looking for in a man, your likes and dislike , e.t.c LOL

 Attached to this email are my pictures. All my pictures are recent. I took them last month.

John.

Xoxoxo

Hmmm……maybe