Tag Archives: cowboy

Clark Kent

Hurricane Man is out like his predecessor Sandy. Although I have a strong feeling I’ll hear from him again at some point telling me how busy he’s been…bla bla…bla…bla…blaaaa……I’m bored. If I can’t even rely on you as a booty call, what good are you?clark kent is superman

So I went on a date last week with a guy I’m intrigued by, yet on the fence about. On paper we have a lot in common. On paper he’s a great catch. But there’s an “X” factor…something wrong or missing (I’m assuming) that I can’t quite put my finger on…yet.

Handsome, clean cut, seems relatively successful, intelligent, well-traveled and educated forty something…..Never married…no kids…uh oh….watch for falling shoes…to drop.I’m getting a Clark Kent vibe from him.

He’s a little nerdy for lack of a better word. He has no game, and I’m always on the fence deciding if that’s a good or bad thing. Of course I don’t want a player, but a man who knows how to date, how to treat a woman, how to PLAN a date. I’m not looking for chivalry (God forbid) but just some old-fashioned pleasantries to take the sting out of the wretchedness of dating.

Doesn’t drink, or smoke or do drugs. No tattoos, no notable vices. Sounds like a snoozer I know. But to offset this, he is incredibly well travelled….a HUGE plus in my book. Very adventurous and has family in corners of the globe and apparently the will and desire to take off at a moment’s notice. So I wonder, has he never married because of this whole vagabond/citizen of the world crap? Is that why I’ve never married? Or…is he just a closet deviant with female body parts in jars and bags under his bed?  It’s a 50/50 shot at this point.

I always seem to be drawn to a specific type of personality. Charming, smooth, sarcastic, funny…..and ultimately….kinda douchey when they’re not being charming. Always a yin for the yang. This guy, although well spoken, has a sort of awkward quality to him. I’m just not sure if that will irk or entice me. Something about him reminds me of the Brainiac Cowboy, but cuter….and hopefully dresses better. Not really my type, but a possible option and contender. The first kiss will be critical.

So besides him falling asleep during our conversation (eyes closing, me catching him before the full nod-off) he was a perfect gentleman on our first meeting. Note that once I confronted him “Uhhhh are you sleeping?!” he ran to the counter and purchased a triple shot espresso beverage and then explained how he was coming off three hours of sleep the night before.

It’s one of those wait and see scenarios, I’m being open-minded and I really need to go out again before forming an opinion. But here’s the kicker…Clark Kent appears to be a closet perv. He hasn’t said anything inappropriate but he’s definitely putting his feelers out there. Him texting me at 11 pm asking me if I’d like him to come over was the first indicator. Subsequent messages packed with sexual overtones and double entendres sealed the deal. Apparently I send out a sex goddess vibe I’m completely unaware of! Of course I find that intriguing as hell. Wolf in sheep’s clothing and all that jazz. Let’s just hope it’s not of the Ted Bundy/Craigslist Killer variety.

Things to be cautious of…him noting that he isn’t looking for a relationship per se, but if it happens that’s great. I fucking hate when they say that because it’s really bullshit. It’s simply code for “I want to hook up with no strings….unless I decide I’d like to pursue you….so don’t hold me to it.” Second clue…his profile says he’s looking for “friends and activity partners.” WTF?

Jeeeeez Louise!!! Doesn’t anyone older than 25 and younger than 65 want to be in a relationship?!

With me anyhow???

The Two Stages of a New Relationship

Peter In…..

Petered Out…

What a Fool Believes

My head hurts.

I had an in-depth conversation with The Cowboy about….well….this n’ that. I was beginning to feel as though he was avoiding me, evading questions, not making much of an effort etc. and I was convinced he was slowly pulling the plug from the middle of the cord. Just a little tug, a slight wrench…enough to loosen himself to make the final extraction. I fucking hate that. If you’re into it, then be into it, if you’re not then yank it out (literally or philosophically) and get on with it!

We made plans because I asked him out, wanting to see him in person and wanting to get a vibe on whether or not I was imagining this doomsday scenario. I was ready to hear the truth, good or bad, and would prefer to know now, before I invest any further time or energy into this “relationship.” Shit or get off the pot, as they say in certain circles.

We talked….and talked…..and talked and talked. And I’m still not sure where we stand and what lies ahead for us. He looked at me as though I had two heads, what on Earth was I talking about? Avoiding me? Playing cool? Certainly not…or not intentionally as he says. I look at it as we have been dating a month, he adds up the actual “days” and says we’ve been seeing each other a week. We’re both right, it’s just two sides of the same coin. Mars and Venus. He’s dating other people, admittedly so. I don’t have the desire to serial date. In my mind, after 5 or 6 dates, one should be able to determine if you want to continue seeing a person or move on. I’m not talking marriage, just dating for Christ’s sake. I don’t think I’m being rash, premature or unreasonable. But he’s not ready. He needs to move slowly. Geeeez Louise…

Says he wants to get to know me better. Meanwhile, if we are only causally dating once a week, how long is that going to take? I don’t mean to sound impatient, but I’m not a kid. I know what I want, I’m not afraid of taking chances and I don’t suffer fools kindly….especially if that fool is me. I’m not going to chase him or any one else for that matter, but I’m not going to sit around and wait either. I’m in a pickle, you could say.

I believe in his sincerity, he hasn’t uttered a word of bullshit to me yet. I like that about him. The flip side of that is he also won’t tell me what I want to hear for the sake of placating me. Damned if you do or don’t, of course I realize this irony in my twisted brain.

Thing is, I’m not sure if he’s right for me, if we’re compatible or if our world’s are simply too far apart. He’s Texas slow…and I’m NY fast…..can we co-exist and meet in the middle? No idea. But my philosophy is that I’ll never know without trying. Sure I’ve gone down that slippery slope before, but it’s the only way I can live a life of no (or few) regrets.

As we sat outside on a crisp early Spring night, I had a moment where the light and the wind hit him in such a way that for the first time I looked at him and thought…..ya know, he really is cute! And it was at that moment I knew I was fucked. When you realize you are looking at them in that way, you just know you’ve crossed the line of liking and really liking someone.

So he’s digesting what I’ve said. And I’m considering my options.

And like the sands through the hourglass….so are the days of our lives.

He’s a Little Bit Country….I’m a Little Bit Neurotic

Things have been going well with The Cowboy. Or so I thought….

Getting to know one another, spending time together and having an all around good time. Only thing is, he’s like a very complex Algebra equation….and I suck at math!

I’ve accepted the fact that I’ve never met anyone like him, and although I’m still assessing if that’s a good thing, I like what I’ve seen and been a part of thus far. For the most part anyhow. We’ve been seeing one another for almost a month now, and it occurred to me this is the slowest moving relationship I’ve ever been part of. That doesn’t bother me, in fact I prefer it. It’s easier for me to believe his words and actions, as well as allowing me time to figure out my own. So what’s wrong? What am I being crazy about now? It’s quite simple actually. Although we have had many in-depth and intimate conversations, we haven’t had “the talk” about whether or not we are seeing other people or exclusive. God knows I hate that talk but it has to happen as part of the natural progression of any relationship.

He’s enigmatic in many ways. One is that he’s so super intense, so connected to his thoughts and feelings – and yet on the flip side, a bit private and hardly an open book or fountain of information. One minute he’ll say or do something that makes me believe he is completely into me, in the most sincere and heartfelt manner. But then he can be aloof or evasive, which of course makes me super paranoid and questioning whether or not his other actions are true. I don’t think he has the capacity to lie or bullshit, but I do notice how he can conveniently avoid a question or scenario he doesn’t want to address. He seems so mature and grown up and incapable of mind games, but that doesn’t mean I can’t get hurt  or bamboozled.

I’ll preface this by saying when we are together, he so incredibly sweet, attentive, and thoughtful while not being even the slightest bit over the top, clingy or fast paced (see previous posts of past relationships for examples of that!) He seems so interested in building something real and true with me…but what do I know?So without getting into anything too personal, I’ll simply state these examples of why I’m getting paranoid…

- His profile is still up online and active. A major pitfall of online dating, but a reality check nonetheless. (Mine is down)

- I lost electricity for 2.5 days in my apartment, the first night he came and took me out to dinner. The second day he didn’t ask if I was still out (no heat, hot water, electric etc.), and when I mentioned to him that I was, he never invited me to stay or even shower at his house, if I needed anything or meet me out for dinner. Sure, he may have been with his kids, but then why not say something instead of just ignoring me? If the shoe were on the other foot, I would most definitely offer him a place to stay…or at least bathe. I just don’t think that was very nice, call me sensitive.

- I invited him out to dinner and asked (via text) when he picked up the kids for the weekend or had a free evening. He specifically never answered those questions while acknowledging others.

I think what is perplexing me is that when he speaks to me, he appears so serious, relationship oriented and one-woman focused. He told me he isn’t sleeping with anyone else, but never actually said “I’m not dating anyone else.” Call me a stickler, call me paranoid, but I have justifiable trust issues and these things do bother me.

I have not heard from him at all today, and he hasn’t checked in to see if my power has been restored. Wouldn’t that be the courteous/right/caring thing to do? Am I making a big deal and reading too much into things? Possibly. Perhaps this is his way of keeping things in check and progressing at a slow and steady pace…..which of course I know little about. Or maybe he is seeing other people? Or maybe he’s not sure how he feels about me? Or maybe I’m a wing nut. I’ll allow for a small degree of craziness on my part, sure, why not.

I want to trust him. I want to believe in him….and I want to pursue this relationship to the best of my ability. But what’s more important is that I don’t want to be blind or see things that don’t exist – good or bad. I want to believe in love and romance and the possibility of an incredible man out there for me, but how do we know the difference between being hopeful and ignorant or realistic and pessimistic?

How do we know which little voices to listen to and which ones just need their meds??

It’s Official…

I like the Cowboy. Okay, there, I said it!

Now comes the reality that I’m scared shitless. 50% that I’ll get hurt and 50% that he’s not right for me. And in case you’re wondering…….yes I am quite possibly the most neurotic dater in history!

We had plans tonight for dinner, on the eve before I go out-of-town. For the first time, I no longer felt nervous, but excited. I have that anticipation about wanting to learn more about him each and every time we meet. But alas, reality snuck in, as he is a real grown-up with real life tasks and duties, having to cancel our plans due to his kid being sick and him being up all night taking care of her. How can I be upset about that? Well, I can be disappointed, but that’s the price of dating an adult with actual responsibilities. Shit happens.

What I deduced after the initial disappointment, was that yes, I do, in fact like him. Perhaps I wasn’t sure until that very moment. It’s so so early and I’m doing my very best at managing expectations. Of course the impatient side of me wants to fast forward a month and just see where we’re at. But I suppose that would take all the fun out of it right?

Is there a chance I will have to blog about this not working out, about getting heartbroken or disappointed….sure there is. But I’ve never been afraid of taking chances and putting myself out there when there is something I want. Right now, I commend him on (likely as a fluke) playing this so perfectly. Balancing that fine crazy line of mine between kindness, interest, intrigue, attention and yet not smothering or freaking me out. He makes me wonder, but then when he speaks or reacts, it is genuine and heartfelt. I even half jokingly accused him, damn you for always saying the right thing! He mentioned on our first date about seeking and contributing both a high E.Q. and I.Q. I’m not sure I had ever heard that phrase, but knew immediately he was referring to a person’s emotional quotient. Or at least that’s what I think it means!

The next week should prove to be intriguing and torturous, but in the corniest recesses of my brain I’m thinking that absence will make the heart grow fonder….Either that or he will have found someone else.

See how I like to keep things balanced!

Close Call

Saw the Cowboy last night, everything was going really well, and then out of the blue he mentions “Oh, I read about the date online.”

Uhhhhh……..first thought, what’s he talking about second thought, oh fuck, he found my blog, he read what I said, I blew it, it’s over, OMG, what have I done, how do I get out of this, how do I explain?????

My response, what are you talking about?…. as beads of sweat gently trickle down my brow.

“You know, that bad date you went on.”

There was a sense of immediate relief as he was clearly referring to the blind date with the 40 Year Old Virgin. Then I realized, actually, I’m mortified. And it’s official – he Googled me.

I started nervously rambling, insisting he let me tell the entire story of what happened. He seemed to find it all humorous and was enjoying watching me squirm like a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar. I’m so thankful he mentioned it to me so I could explain, as he could have just assumed the worst and held it against me. His only concern was that he didn’t understand how I could go out with a guy like that. He didn’t realize it was a blind date. Like Stevie Wonder blind!

Yet another example of him learning something about me that a lesser man could have used as an exit strategy. Again he said, “I like you being you.” Wow, that’s good stuff there folks.

So, for fear of him prematurely discovering this blog and jumping to any conclusions, I will continue the blog without any specific commentary on him. There is still a lot to learn about one another, and it’s revealing itself slowly. He’s a good guy, he’s sweet and thoughtful and I’m not sensing any bullshit.

Damn…….Am I losing my snark?

The Tortoise and the Hare

Dinner last night with the Cowboy. I made a simple yet delectable Mexican meal since he mentioned that was his favorite style cuisine (all together now….awwwwww!) Minus the flan debacle (I forgot to add sugar and wound up with an egg soufflé in caramel sauce), everything was delicious and the evening went better than expected….And I aint talking’ bout the tacos.

We drank wine and talked for hours, once again, going off on tangents I can’t even recall. And although the conversation was interesting, I have to stay quite focused to get him to reveal personal information. He likes talking, but yet I can’t really tell you what we spoke about in-depth for the majority of the evening. There is a feminine sensibility to him that I like and thus far, he seems to be the least judgmental and cynical person I’ve ever met. Being from NY this is uncharted territory of course. I found out that although a Texan, he does not in fact, own a gun which was a huge sigh of relief. I realize I have absolutely painted him into a stereotype which he completely defies on every level. I hereby virtually apologize to him and all others I’ve lumped into my George Bush-Rick Perry-red neck-rope ‘em cowboy-style Texan persona.

So we are getting to that place where I will reveal less and less about him because, hold on to your ten gallon hats……I’m starting to like him! It’s very slow and subtle, but each time I see him he grows on me a little more and I’m enjoying the process of getting to know him. Holy crap! Can a jaded, sarcastic New York City girl get along with a sweet and optimistic southern boy?? This is as perplexing to me as anyone!

I won’t leave you completely hanging, so I will say the chemistry is building and I’m feeling more and more comfortable and at ease. There is soooo much more to explore and so many unanswered questions that could  make or break this so I won’t get ahead of myself. He’s completely different and unique from anyone I’ve ever dated which is left to be determined as to whether that’s good or bad. It is intriguing to me and because he’s not spewing his life story, a load of crap and crying on my couch, I’m peeling the layers back slow and thoughtfully. He arrived around seven and left around three….am……so the evening certainly was a pleasant surprise.

I’ve yet to see or say anything bad about his character or behavior and I’ve observed no red flags. This feat is pretty incredible in and of itself. I’m in a good place which is rare, so I’ll take a moment and be grateful. Three dates in and over the initial hurdle, I’m neither positive nor negative, just mindful and appreciative. It’s nice to be treated so kindly in a non-obsessive manner. Sometimes it’s easy to forget how the simple things can be so pleasant and how high drama is almost always an indicator of bad things to come.

Slow and steady wins the race, or so I’m told.

At a Loss….ADDENDUM

Yes, I know for someone who was at a loss I certainly seem to have a lot to say. But I woke up this morning feeling the need to clarify a few things.

The way I’ve been describing the Brainiac Cowboy (awful name but I’ll stick with it), is that the only things “wrong” with him solely relate to his bad taste in apparel. What I haven’t expressed is that there is something off or odd about him that I cannot quite put my finger on. Is it something quantifiable or instinctual or perhaps a bit of both? He’s not quirky or eccentric per se, but just…..different or odd. If you told me he was from another planet that would lead me to say “Oh, that explains everything. He’s very human-like but something is missing or strange is apparent and now it’s clear!” And it’s not just because he’s from Texas for God’s sake.

I don’t want to ignore the feelings of apprehension because for all I know, he could be anything. Be it from Mars, or a serial killer, or sociopathic. I’m being dramatic, but my point is that these instincts or hairs standing up on the back of my neck could mean nothing or mean something that leads me to say, Now that makes sense! I’m not going to completely discard that. Not yet.

A few examples include the fact that he seems to have no interest in small talk or asking me flat-out questions that normally are discussed when getting to know someone new. “What do you do? What do you like to do in your free time? Where is your family from? Siblings? Kids? Religion? Last name etc.” So when I managed to ask him some of those questions, he never turned the table to ask them back at me. That’s odd no? Wouldn’t you want to know that if the topic has already been breached? He’s neither sarcastic, jaded, judgmental nor neurotic…and frankly I’m not accustomed to that. He laughs at what I say but doesn’t make me laugh. I’m amusing to him, he’s interesting to me. Not sure I could be with someone who isn’t funny, it’s such a core part of my being and I thrive on the witty repartee’.

Normally, I would attribute his behavior to narcissism, but in his case I simply see it as less important than the inner workings of my brain, how I think, how I act and how I process things. As if he’s looking for a lab partner and not a girlfriend or mate. Unlike myself, he seems to be infinitely patient and not in a rush to define who I am, figuring those things will evolve organically. I believe, why wait until the 5th or 10th date to learn about someone (especially if it’s a deal breaker) what you can learn in the first or second time meeting them? I’m too old and impatient to keep dating the wrong guys for fear of hearing something I don’t want to know so I don’t ask. I’ve wasted so much time already, I need to, I have to be smarter about who I date.

He openly admitted that he would answer any questions I had for him, but when put on the spot like that, I froze up and had nothing but a blank stare on my face. I wish I had an easy check list, but it’s not that simple for me. It’s a give and take and I don’t want to rule someone out for one or two bad answers. I’m also not good with asking very straightforward and intimate questions straight out like that. God knows I’ve let them slide in the past….hence my history of unavailable men.

He mentioned that he played football and rugby when he was younger and how he felt in great health and shape. He also brought up something about getting into fights in his youth and how he would never look for trouble but he wouldn’t stand down either. “Let’s just say, if someone walked into this bar and was being disrespectful to you, I would have no problem standing up to him and doing whatever was necessary.” What????? You’re a brainiac nerd from M.I.T. and now you’re telling me you’re ready for a scuffle if you needed to defend my honor? Who is this guy?! I’m still trying to get used to the fact you help me get my coat on and off. Now you’ll bar fight for me if needed? Make it stop, it’s too much to process!

I can’t determine if this apprehension is based on him being different in general or just different from anyone I’ve ever dated. We’re drawn to like-minded people or similar backgrounds, that’s human nature. So if he was Italian, Spanish or Jewish from the north-east and dressed normally, I likely wouldn’t have the slightest hesitation. That’s what I’m used to, comfortable with and have always had the most in common with. However, on the flip side is that because he hasn’t given any wrong answers and he’s peculiar, it makes him intriguing and enigmatic which of course makes me interested to learn more. 

Naturally, I googled him and learned nothing. Found nothing but a Linked In profile that only validated what he does for a living. No information, no photos, no links. Exceptionally enigmatic.

Maybe he’s in the C.I.A.? Hey, now THAT would explain it all!

Yes, I’M Actually at a Loss for Words

Got home from my date with the Brainiac Cowboy and feel the need to express this state of utter confusion and complexity. Two dates now and I have to STILL say…..I don’t know. I just don’t know!

To skip to the gist of it, he has not said or done anything that I have found offensive, contrary to my beliefs or opinions, or of the red, pink or rose flag variety. I can’t hold anything against him except his GOD FORSAKEN hideous needs to be burned and buried head to toe wardrobe. Or as my friend E so eloquently stated He’s from Texas and M.I.T. neither of which are good places to develop a fashionable sense of style!”

He is nothing but a true gentleman I give him that. He arrived at my building and when I got downstairs, he had double parked and was waiting outside for me with an umbrella so that I wouldn’t get wet on my walk to the car. Classy move….2 points. The so-called scary place was actually a great choice. We were able to park out front, get an entire couch area to ourselves and yet it was bustling and the food was quite tasty with great service to boot. What was funny, when we got to the seating area he followed me around and I could’t understand why he was standing behind me so close until I looked at him and he laughed saying “I’m trying to take your coat for you!” Wow, am I out of touch with how to behave with a chivalrous man, here I thought he was trying to just be creepy getting all up in my business and such!

Score Card: Umbrella 2, Coat 2. His outfit -2.

We talked and talked and went off on so many tangents, too many to recall. All I know is I was trying desperately to dumb-down the conversation and just wanting to know basic trivial information like what do you read, or listen to or watch and who’s your favorite sports team? Do you think Brad or George will win any Oscars or what’s your take on American Idol this season?? You’re smart and deep, I got it, now can we find out if we’re compatible or some other indicator that will help me determine if I wanna jump your bones?!!

I was spewing. And he was egging me on, wanting to hear more and more in greater detail. Crazy part was the dude didn’t seem to lose interest, judge me or even flinch at anything I said. He didn’t want to get into detail about his kids and that’s fine but he made sure to let me know he is serious about being a great dad but equally serious about finding someone who will make him happy. There was none of that “My kids are bla bla bla and any woman will always be second or third behind them.” I’m telling you, I was flinging religion and kids and politics and relationships at him and he didn’t flinch for a second. It was almost too perfect in that his answers were all completely non-judgmental, unbiased, open-minded and accepting. Almost as if he were on the stand but was so well coached and prepared he made me rest my case, I couldn’t get one single thing against him. I know I’m a jaded New Yorker, but really….how can he be so completely accepting and unbiased and yet not boring or kiss ass? I’m still working on the answer for that one.

Again we get back to basics. Is he my “type?” Well, physically not really, although there is nothing wrong or unappealing about him as I’ve mentioned. I think I’m just so befuddled by the fact that his looks and the way he speaks and presents himself are so contradictory. He looks like a muscular cheese ball who could work graveyard shift at the downtown Dunkin’ Donuts for all I know. But he speaks and sounds like this intellectual nerd who looooves chatting and discussing the minutia of any given subject. Why give a straight answer when you can take it up 12 levels and dissect the living hell out of it enough to write a dissertation? Then you throw the down home Texas boy element in and I’m completely out of sorts.

I want to label him – I can’t. I want to put him in a box or category or type – I can’t. And  frankly, it’s bugging the shit out of me! If he was from NY and dressed normal, and perhaps a tad less polite I’d likely think he was sent straight from heaven. But this concoction is really throwing me off and I don’t know how to process it…or him.

In my mind we are so different culturally, we come from two different worlds. But he’s so damn open-minded, accepting and liberal that he seems to be okay with anything and everyone.To each’s own and all that. Was I enjoying myself?Yes. But it’s so unlike the “chemistry” I’ve always experienced that I don’t know what to call it. In my younger days I surely would have discarded him by now, but now I’m so damn curious to travel down this unpaved road just to see what’s at the end. I don’t have to try to be cautious, reserved or breezy….because it’s genuinely how I feel. I don’t think I have ever taken this long to decide if I’m into someone. It’s odd and perplexing.

12:30 and the place was empty, music off and they’re practically sweeping the floors. That’s Boston for ya. He didn’t mention going anyplace else so I figured it was best to just end the night – like two normal people – not like most of my dates where we go hopping from one place to the next or wind up on my couch while he tells me the inner workings of his life, woes and problems. He drove me home.

We sat awkwardly in the car saying good night and he wasn’t making any move to cap off the night. It was weird. I knew he wanted to kiss me, I could definitely sense he was into me..and I wanted to kiss him too. I needed to see if there would be chemistry then. So I jokingly said something to the effect of  “are you going to hug me or kiss me goodnight?” He laughed and said he wasn’t sure  what to do since I had mentioned something about being old-fashioned when first meeting someone. He took that as meaning sexually, when meanwhile I just meant, you pick the place, you make the plans, you pay and you take the masculine and traditional role. I certainly didn’t mean sexually! Luckily, since I’m not in that “bone jumping” place with him, I could restrain myself from any strong sexual scenarios.

Whaddaya know…I’m playing hard to get without even trying. Hey, there’s a new one!!

We kissed for a bit and he lingered, clearly not wanting to break away. It was nice, but I was in no mood for a front seat make-out and heavy petting session. I don’t think he’s reserved per se, I just think he’s such a damn gentleman that his moves and actions are foreign and unfamiliar to me. So, did I now know how I felt? No, of course not. But I still haven’t ruled him out either.

He texted me when he got home, saying what a nice time he had and that he enjoyed my company, likes me for me and then a comment about kissing me or wanting to get close to me which I just passed over. I’m throwing fireballs and spit wads at this guy and he’s catching them all. I can’t seem to throw him off and I know I’m trying.

So as much as I’ve rambled on in a post entitled “I’m at a loss for words,” I can say that I honestly still don’t know. But I’m not quite as unsure as last time. That’s progress I suppose. 

Don’t Mess With Texas

A few days passed and I hadn’t heard from the Brainiac Cowboy. Part of me was relieved…the other part surprised and maybe a smidgen disappointed? I’m an enigma I know. Then out of the blue, a text message pops up from him saying what a nice time he had and how lovely I was etc. etc. Now I had to respond!

Not knowing how I felt or what  wanted, I intentionally sent a somewhat vague response thanking him but leaving a very gray area as to whether or not I was interested. If I don’t know, how can I express it to him after all.

Another day or two passed after that, and he texted again. “Would you like to spend another evening together?” he says. An odd choice of words if you ask me. Makes it sound like we were intimate, which of course we were not. Shit! Now what do I do?

Considering I really haven’t found anything wrong with him…. yet, I guess I should go right? I mean how much and how long can I hold the whole Texas thing against him?

I reply, sure that would be nice and then after going back and forth a few times, opted for Friday night. I mentioned that he should plan the evening and I would be up for whatever he decided. I don’t want to get into another awkward situation of picking places when I know he’s taking care of the bill. Plus, I’m old-fashioned in the sense of the first few dates should be old school man woos woman. Man pays for woman. Woman is grateful and courteous. Putting out…optional.

Dinner reservations are at 8:30 at bla bla restaurant. Hmmmm…I’m thinking….Boston is pretty small, and I’m a foodie, so there aren’t too many restaurants that I haven’t at least heard of. I look it up on Yelp and it seems okay except when I look at the location. Teetering on the border of where the South End is cool, trendy and hip and….well let’s just say sketchy and you wouldn’t want to walk around at night. WTF? I’m wondering which side of the street this place is on! Did he pick this place because he knows it or he’s so out of touch with city restaurants that he thinks this is a happening spot?

I pick up my Boston Zagat guide and found it quite humorous that the description reads “Not in the trendier part of the South End.” Literally that’s the first line describing it. So there’s the answer to that question! Before I could panic, he offers to pick me up if I’d like. Very gentlemanly.

Of course in my snarky, sarcastic, somewhat snobby NY manner I immediately text a friend:

“I wonder if he’ll come get me in his pick-up truck, Camaro or Kia.?” I was half joking….sort of.

Almost as if he was reading my mind, within minutes, he texts back:

“I drive a Mini Cooper, I’ll be there at 8:00. I’ll bet you thought I drove a pick-up!”

Touche’ my friend! He’s on to me and yet enjoying playing up the cowboy persona. As far as I’m concerned, he’d be better off not reminding me. Meanwhile visions of Green Acres run through my brain.

I then chat with a local friend of mine and mention where he lives, which to my understanding, was a less than desirable part of town. Low income and possibly dangerous. Her boyfriend who is from here tells me, oh yeah that’s a real hip/hipster part of town now. So I will admit it….yes, I’m a bitch, and yes, I’ve pre-judged the shit out of him trying to find something wrong.

Putting all that garbage aside, it all boils down to chemistry. Can I have romantic feelings for him if he’s nice, polite, smart, has a good job, a full head of hair and thinks I’m the cat’s meow? Honestly….I have no flipping idea. I just pray he doesn’t wear some loathsome ensemble tomorrow that will throw me off track while I try not to judge him on a superficial level!!

I just don’t know. Really I don’t.