Been on a hiatus the last month, no dating since that jackass with the iced tea that made me buy my own drink. That left the taste of sour milk in my mouth and I was more than happy to get away, go on vacation and relish my unencumbered and celibate status.
As my life has been a series of vagabond adventures and travels, it seems as though I may be picking up and hitting the road again soon. No need to go into further explanation as this is a dating and relationship blog, not a personal diary, but I mention it because I changed my location on an online profile just to get a taste for what was out there in my potentially new city.
I was completely honest in my profile, mentioning how I travel back and forth, but likely planning to move back. After weeding through a selection of utterly undesirables and guys I might consider if I was bored, I stumbled upon a man who caught my attention in a way I haven’t seen in quite a while.
He had 7 or 8 photos up in various locales and poses, one more fetching than the next. Right up my alley, so cute I wanted to literally jump into the computer screen and crawl into his lap. The kind of guy I know without question I will be attracted to and wanting to jump his bones before the main course is served. Add to that a compatibility rating of 95%. Ninety-five fucking percent with only 2% chance of becoming enemies. Sounds ridiculous I know, but the way okcupid.com works is actually based on the metrics of some very vague and very specific questions about preferences, beliefs, opinions and stances on topics in ethics, sex, lifestyle, dating and “other.” If I’m answering 200+ questions on my beliefs, preferences and lifestyle choices, there’s going to be some accuracy on this rating system. The method of course, does not account for physical attraction, but that goes without saying.
So as far as the photos, check. Compatibility, check. Obvious flaws, red flags or baggage listed? Nope. Check. Has a job/career, check. Similar interests, check. Oh, and did I mention I wanna rape him? I’ve never met him and I already feel like a giddy school girl. This is where it gets bad and I should know better. He’s perfect on paper, and that’s never a good thing. Besides it likely not being true, all it does is build my expectations and anticipation and that’s never a good thing when drawn out over a long period of time.
Taking a step back, he invited me for drinks while I was in town, but due to my schedule and him having to work we couldn’t coordinate getting together. We playfully texted back and forth and he asked when I’d be back in town again. I mentioned that I’d likely return in the next few weeks unless he was interested in a road trip. (Just putting it out there, I figured). He was into it, although I’m not sure exactly what those parameters would be. Nothing ventured nothing gained I figure. He said we should get together and plan something for the second week of September. This of course feels like a lifetime and I’m well aware that is just ample time for me to obsess and him to meet someone else or lose interest. Great!
Do I keep the banter going? Will that make me look too interested? Do I play cool and risk him losing interest? Out of sight out of mind. It all brings about the question I often ponder…..Do men and women get more excited about meeting someone for the first time with the anticipation of the unknown and the hope and promise that brings?…..or the second date after you’ve already met the person and know what you’re getting?
I have no answers but I do know that any time a guy has gone over the top in almost obsessive behavior (i.e.: Still Married Guy) it surely leads to a rapid demise of whatever pipe dream they had in their heads. If they are soooo into you before even meeting, it’s almost certainly a red flag and grounds for disappointment.
Been there done that. Let’s see how this plays out.