Tag Archives: Internet

My Virtual Boyfriend – Part 1

Sad to admit this was the last encounter I had dating, and to be honest, it sorta sucked the wind out of me and left me with no idea how to relay the story.

A guy online contacted me and when I reviewed his profile I thought, “oh this is good. But…” It was well written, said all the things I wanted to hear and more importantly, had no red flags or deal breakers. but he wasn’t my type. I just didn’t know if I could picture myself with him. There wasn’t anything wrong with him, his features were nice….but I wasn’t drawn to him or picking up a vibe that we’d connect. I decided I would go outside my comfort zone and at least see if he had any personality, anything about him that intrigued me. Nothing ventured, nothing gained right?

The next few days were exciting and fun, filled with emails, calls and texts from him…as we got to know one another and some of the crazy coincidences we had in common. We grew up about 30 miles from one another. We went to the same college and lived in the same dorm (he being older than me, we never overlapped), we both studied abroad our junior year, in the same European city. Both have moved around and had careers combined of freelance and full-time positions and lived in several cities. Both nomadic, sarcastic, sharp but emotional and sensitive. And then I found out he lived in my same building in New York City. Ten years prior. That’s just crazy, of all the places in New York he lived in my exact building? Beyond coincidence, this was kismet.

So what’s the catch? Yeah, of course there’s one…. He doesn’t live in New York currently. He’s down south and thinking about possibly returning, but meanwhile has family matters to attend to. “Why did you list you lived in NY?” “Oh, that’s the type of woman I want to meet. And who knows, maybe I’ll return.” After extensive conversations of me explaining that by no means was I looking for a long distance relationship or a pen pal he seemed to agree he wasn’t either. How he’s ready to settle in and settle down and wants to share his life with a great woman.

The talks were then followed up by others just as intimate, personal, compelling and revealing. Every day, hours a day for nearly three weeks. This went on for weeks, the daily calls, emails and texts. And then things got REALLY complicated. There is that new stage a/k/a honeymoon phase when you first meet someone and they want to make the best possible impression so they tell you only the good stuff….and of course that’s all you hear anyhow even if there are some red flags peppered into passing conversation. So I’m thinking a month passed before I got the truth out of him. And it was a doozey. Even for me.

He had lived in NY amongst a few other cities, but circumstances now had him living with his 85-year-old mother –in Florida. So not only was he not living in NYC, the likelihood of him coming back to NY was slim. By this time we had spent countless hours speaking, confiding and sharing with one another – clearly on a friendship level….well, at least for me. You see he thought he was my boyfriend. He even referred to me as his girlfriend on the phone on more than one occasion. You mean your virtual girlfriend??

So where does this get even stranger?…..He had no money (pretty much a given with the men I meet) and couldn’t afford to “fly up and take me out the way I deserved.” So instead, he just never came at all. I think he actually enjoyed the no strings dynamic of a phone girl friend while I had bigger fish to fry as my life was coming apart at the seems and I prepared myself for another potential upheaval and career change. What did I get out of it you ask? A confidant and friend who lent an ear and who I reciprocated tenfold. A friend….with sexual overtones….but no actual sex. Phone sex is fun for about ten minutes and then I put the kaibosh on that shit.

This continued for about 3 months with his calls only amping in frequency and intensity. Then I planned a trip down to Florida for something else and decided we should meet up.

We did… 

HOT off the press

I would have included this in my previous post, however, it just came in. From a very attractive, very young (early-mid 20’s) man. So it’s pretty clear, if I’d like to have sex  with a different young man every night….it’s pretty much up for the taking. I’m sure you men are jealous and thinking “why the hell not!” Ughhh….

Am I  the only normal person online looking for a relationship?….Don’t answer that. Just read…

Hi there. I am looking for something very different and thought you might be interested. I am looking to put on a show for a woman who is nice looking and classy. Basically I will be nude and get off in front of you with in a kinky way. You can sit back, relax, and enjoy. More and less can happen depending on the situation. I am a very nice and respectful guy and do not do this often at all. I am actually leaving work soon and wont be online at all but would love to talk. Maybe email me if you would like to?

I can also explain to you why I decided to message you specifically.


Dutch Boy

I’m always fascinated by the ever popular dating topic of who pays and when.

I’ve never really thought of it as being a big deal until I started hearing repeated stories from male friends about women calling it quits early on due to the way a man handles or deflects the bill when presented. It’s amazing how a perfectly wonderful evening can come to a screeching halt when the check comes and no one reaches for it, or the woman reaches….and the man says “cool, thanks!”

Just last week I had lunch with a male friend of mine and when I enquired about his love life he told me about a woman he had been on a few dates with.

“Everything was going great, we went out a few times, great girl, very attractive, lots in common and then…nothing. I texted her about a follow up date and she ignored me. I couldn’t possiby understand what went wrong and how she could have lost interest so quickly. Turns out, she admitted when she took out her credit card to pay for the chinese food and I let her pay she was completely annoyed and offended and said I wasn’t the kind of man she was looking for. Meanwhile, I just didn’t want to offend her by insisting on paying. I know women will get insulted if you don’t let them pay when they offer.”

Okay, first off….women will NOT get insulted if you do not let them pay! They will however hold it against you if you do them pay. Let’s just call a spade a spade here. Women offer to pay but as modern or progressive as they may be, they actually have no intention or desire to pick up the bill. Not in the early stages of dating which is say, dates 1-4 or 5. He had no clue. Or chose not to.

What I’ve learned is this. Do not offer to pay unless you are fully prepared and willing to. You can’t offer and then hold it against him. You can, however, make a decision as to whether you’d like to continue seeing them based on such behavior.

Which brings me to my date with Dutch Boy.

So many things that went sour in my brain and indicated his utter cheapness but it capped off with me asking him if he was hungry since it was 7 pm and he says “Not really, I don’t really eat much. Food isn’t important and I don’t have much of an appetite.” First date, I let the food component slide, but this was date two…it’s 7 pm, I’d like to eat. I was hungry so we agreed on the local place I take many of my dates to. We coincidentally sat in the same table where Hearts and Flowers Guy and I sat.

We each ordered a beer and some hummus sampler (I ate most of which). Conversation was fine and perfectly enjoyable but I was starting to feel the romantic connection slipping away. The bill came as I was getting up to go to the bathroom. When I returned, the bill was STILL sitting there with no form of payment on it. I knew exactly what that meant as it was clearly intentional. He THEN reached for his wallet and so I merely glanced at the check when he uttered “$20 from each of us should be good.”

Actually my friend……that would be the OPPOSITE of good, but I’m glad you are showing who you are and your preferred and chosen lifestyle to me now because I just lost my lady-wood in a big way. I was so turned off it amazes me how dumb a guy can be for $20. I mean, let’s just say there was a chance of him getting laid…..well, there was NONE after that outburst. Schmuck. Nothing went wrong on the date, it wasn’t malicious, just his choice. As a matter of fact, I’m pretty sure he was into me.
It was raining and early and I was bored and awake, so we came back to my apt to watch tv and hang out and perhaps make out a little. I’ve never been so cognizant and lucid of what was and wasn’t going to happen. Nice guy, means well, totally clueless as to how offensive and stupid that little move of his was. Normally in a situation like that since he doesn’t live in the city, I’d likely let him sleep over even if we weren’t going to have sex. But Dutch Boy was getting none of my hospitality at this point. Was able to seal the deal when he opened up and told me he keeps women’s underwear as souvenirs. You mean like the way serial killers do?
I think you’d better go grab that bus back to Jersey.

It’s Not me….It’s You




More stories coming soon….hold your horses will ya
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Always Judge a Book By its Cover

Been on a few dates now with Clark Kent. I haven’t written because I’m not really quite sure what to say. Strange from me, I know.

I don’t have anything bad to say about him. He hasn’t done anything awful or offensive. But something is clearly off or missing that I can’t put my finger on. Putting that aside, we had a very candid conversation about how he is not looking for a relationship, doesn’t have time to commit to someone at the moment and wouldn’t be a good boyfriend to anyone. So….where do you go from there?

I told him, that I was in fact, looking for a relationship, but I appreciated his honesty and wasn’t sure where that left us. Put that together with me being ambivalent and I was okay no matter how this thing pans out. He said he was ideally looking for a friend that he could hang out with, do things with and be sexually attracted to them (which I suppose is code for sleeping with them). Dating with no strings or friends with benefits…no matter what you call it, it’s what a lot of men (I won’t say most) want and it’s bullshit. It’s all the so-called good stuff and none of the committment or obligation. Nice try buddy.

Needless to say, of course I heard from him again days later. Checking in and saying hello, and then ultimately asking if I’d like to go out again. Hmmm…..

“Is this us going on a date or going out as friends?” I asked.

“How about friends going out on a date?!” he lamely offers up.

So what am I supposed to do with that now? Ah, fuck it, I’ll go. I’m not feeling vulnerable like I’ll get hurt because I’m so on the fence anyhow. But I need to at least kiss this guy to see if we have any sexual chemistry since our social chemistry is fair but a bit awkward in my opinion. Perhaps this will tip me over the fence one way or the other.

But here’s the kicker…..he doesn’t drink…..or smoke….or drink coffee….or eat sushi. I mean my entire social existence is based on those things! So I ask – if you go out to dinner on a date,and you don’t drink, and there’s a certain nervous awkwardness and questionable things in common…..what do you do when you’re done eating???

Which was where we wrapped up date number two btw.

I don’t know about him, but I needed to be a little buzzed in this scenario while I test the waters. So outside of me acquiring some kind of date rape drug, how am I supposed to loosen up, loosen him up and see if there is anything lying beneath the surface with Clark Kent? I should note that his texts throughout the week were consistently sexual in nature, despite us barely touching skin beyond a good-bye kiss on the cheek and then peck on the lips. He was giving definitive, wolf in sheep’s clothing vibe and I’ve been down this road before.

The best looking, most charming, sexiest guys (The Pilot, The Greek, Still Married Guy etc.) all had a magical spell over me until we hit the sack. Then their mystical powers vanished and then what I was left with was a selfish or inadequate lover who clearly has never been told by, or asked a woman what actually works and what clearly doesn’t. And I guarantee they all think they’re spectacular in bed.

But I digress…..

The flip side to this coin is that the mild-mannered, somewhat nerdy, non-player, average Joes have always been amazing when it comes to pleasing a woman (namely me) and can’t seem to do enough to make me happy and pleasantly surprised and left with a newfound respect and sense of wonder and delight.

So I just KNEW Clark Kent would be good. I just felt it. He has no vices he’s got to be a sexual deviant or at the very least, damn good in bed.

He asked me to a museum and it was one of those days that I just felt like nesting in. Watching a movie, making dinner and wearing loose clothes or sweats if possible. He happily agreed and I knew I had to get him drunk, or at least tipsy and test these waters….

Since I don’t like to describe my sexual exploits (simply hint to them), I’ll say I made my famous sangria that just about any non-drinker will imbibe with delight. I threw in a pinch of rum, clearly disguised by the sugar and wham! We’re good to go. Home cooked meal, a biz of booze and he’s at my place. I’m no dummy.

Yadda yadda yadda….

We talked and cooked and dinner was fucking delicious if I must say so myself. Peruvian roasted chicken with brown rice, salad and cilantro dressing. Again questioning our chemistry and if we were on the same wave length, I was still stuck on the board and waiting to grab my get out of jail or you’ve won a beauty contest collect $200 to move this thing ahead or back two steps to get out of the holding pattern in my brain.

My so-called plan worked. He eventually leaned in and kissed me and I knew from that moment this was going to be good….And I was right.

So do I like him now? Still not sure. But it’s nice to have options.

A Trivial Pursuit

I’ve always said that people go online for an assortment of reasons. Some to hook up, some to find a spouse. And others…..well they apparently troll online to round out their trivia team.

Hi there, great pictures. If you ever want to play pub trivia – very serious – then feel free to reply. My girlfriend and I need help in the field of pop culture topics.

Best regards,


Mr. Faucet – Conclusion

As I tried to imagine how he mysteriously switched from hot to cold over the course of 48 hours, Mr. Faucet put my questions to rest with his candid email.

Dear Datehater,
I had fun with you on Wednesday and the week before.  I met someone on Friday that I really connected with and I feel it’s a strong match so I’m going to explore the relationship a bit.  I feel that you and I connected as well, but think I’m a better fit for someone who also has been through the same life experiences as me – a divorce, kids, etc.  That’s not why I went to bed early on Wednesday – I’m actually still sick – but I wanted to let you know where I’m coming from.

:) Faucet

At least that makes sense. So now I’m discriminated against for not being divorced with kids! What I’m confused about is which Friday he is referring to when he met the divorce’. The Friday as in the day after we went out and the night before he wrote how into me he was? Or the Friday, the day after he was already acting strange? No matter, whatever, I’m out.

But really gentlemen, how dumb can you be to cut off your options after going out once with someone? I suppose it’s the same impulsive behavior that would possess you to tell me you don’t want to scare me but you can’t wait to see me and get to know me after going out once.


Mr. Faucet


The first date was great by all standards. Drinks, dinner, laughing, lots in common, lots of mutual questions and I believe mutual attraction. We ended it on a high note with plans to do it again the following week when he had his first available free night.
I was home at 2:15 am and elated from a really fun night.

Text me: Thanks for a fun night!

Text him: Yes, that WAS fun! Just got home. And xoxo!


I received a text from him requesting my email so he could send me the itinerary for the next date including a concert, drinks and dinner. Kudos to a man who plans a full evening packed with lots of entertainment! He mentioned the show was at 7:30 and did I want to eat and drink before or after? Then he mentioned how he was doing a job for the venue and that were “paying” him in credits where he could eat and drink to his heart’s content at one of the hotel’s restaurants, and pretty upscale ones at that. “You’d better be prepared to eat and drink A LOT because I need to make sure they know the value of my services is expensive! I also have an extra set of tickets if you have any friends that might like to attend too.” Cute, funny and certainly not an issue I thought. So far so good!

Text flirt blab bla bla…..Text him: We’ll see what kind of trouble we can get in on Wednesday.

Text me: I look forward to it. Text flirt bla bla bla.

Text him: I think we both know you’re already under my spell, but I’ll play along.

Text me: Your modesty is charming. Text flirt blab la bla.


Text him: Don’t let it scare you, but I’m really looking forward to seeing you on Wednesday.

Text me: It takes more than that to scare me.

Text him: Okay, I’ll try harder. Text flirt bla bla bla.

Just reading this put a smile on my face from ear to ear. Wow, that’s such a nice (although incredibly candid) thing to hear and for him to say. Bonus points all around. He texted me sporadically throughout the day and the next day as well. All was good; we were both eagerly anticipating the date, now 4 days away. I was very excited, perhaps a bit too much, but he was just saying what I wanted and needed to hear.


Text me: Is it too late to claim those extra concert tickets for my friend? Text him: I offered them to my friend. But don’t have your friend buy tickets; I can always get an extra pair.

Text me: Thanks, that’s very nice of you. Random chat bla bla bla.


No contact. His kids were with him during that period so I didn’t want to intrude on their time.


Text him: Wanna meet tomorrow between 6:30-7?

Text me: That’s fine. Are you driving in?

Text him: Yes, I’m driving, I’ll be working from home, my boss is in town and I’m on the tail end of a cold I’m trying to shake😦

Text me: No excuses, get some rest tonight and save up your energy.😉

Text him: I’ll try. Let’s meet at the bla bla bar, I’ll call you tomorrow.

Text me: Ok, hope you feel better!


Finally the big day arrives of what was to be the big date, the night we were both so eagerly anticipating for nearly a week. I tried on no less than 25 outfits trying to accommodate the finicky weather, unknown vibe of the club and flirtatious mood that I may or may not be in….all while having it look effortless of course. Men have no clue what women go through in preparation for a date. Especially one they’re really into. I had no idea what to expect but I was thankful the waiting was over.

Text me: How you feeling today?

Text him: A lot better, finally. Big days today and tomorrow so I’m wondering if we should try to grab dinner beforehand. Either the original restaurant or something quick. Thoughts?

Text me: So we will NOT be painting the town this eve? J Whatever you want to do is fine with me.

Text him: I can’t stay up al night I was up at 5 today. Give me a few hours, I’ll probably be fine. I’ll let you know the plan then. Going to have a big lunch so maybe late dinner will be okay.

Text me: Ok, keep me posted.

Seriously???? I’m the furthest thing from high maintenance but he went from a night of drinks, a concert and amazing dinner to let’s meet at the venue right before the show starts! I was pissed. This was not nice no matter how you slice it. I also did not appreciate that he’s not picking me up and I have to bus it to Harvard Square in 4” heels. All would have been forgiven had he been even the slightest bit apologetic or remorseful; I would have even been open to rescheduling when he felt better. He’s certainly not flirty and playful the way he was a few days ago, but alas, I’ll cut him some slack and try not to be so sensitive.

3 hours later…

Text him: I’m really wiped, I’d like to just have something light prior or maybe just do the show if that’s ok?

Text me: Whatever you want to do is fine. You sure you still wanna go? You don’t sound into it?

Text him: I do. I already committed to do the show.

Text me: I meant with me?

Text him: Sorry, I’m just tired. If you want to skip it that’s fine. I’m at a Dr. appointment, but will call you when I get home.

Is he trying to get out of it? Or let me get out of it? What is happening here before my eyes? Where is the man who was gushing 4 days ago?

 Phone call me: I don’t want you to misunderstand. I explained how I did want to see him and go out, but considering his enthusiasm has waned dramatically over the course of the last few days I wasn’t sure what his thoughts and intentions were. I’m not really sure how or if he actually answered that question. I can say, he did NOT say I’m so sorry, I really want to see you, I’m still looking forward to tonight but I’m just feeling crappy, forgive me for being cranky. I was annoyed now and having no idea what to expect for the evening. If he was suddenly not into me over the course of the last few days I’d prefer he cancel now then drag me out for an evening and then never hear from him again. Pull the plug buddy, because your faucet has gone from burning hot to ice-cold and I am NOT a plumber!

Phone call him: Let’s meet right before the show and grab a drink. I’ll meet you there.

We met 30 minutes prior to the show and he greeted me with a hug and suggested we go to the bar at Legal Seafood for a drink. Okay, sure – God knows I wanted and needed one pretty badly at this point. Entering the packed restaurant, we notice two empty seats at the end of the bar. Wow, how lucky! I pull out the chair to notice the man sitting alone at the end stool is in fact homeless and disheveled, noisily slurping a bowl of soup the management surely offered him. What made things worse, or at the very least exceptionally uncomfortable, was that not only was he talking to himself out loud, but also apparently half his face was melted or disfigured. As horrific as it sounds, it was nearly comical at the time when I realize of course I’m already on edge with this date situation and now sitting next to a half-faced vagrant rambling and writing me notes on the paper placemats. Only me!

Arriving at the venue, we are seated ON THE STAGE. There would be no talking, flirting or pretty much anything else as the amps, speakers and lead singer are all inches from my face! He pulls out a pair of earplugs for himself and offers me a set. My friends show up and he quickly meets them.

Two hours later, as the mildly pleasant show ended (and I was incredibly grateful for the earplugs), we left the club and he seemed a “tad” upbeat, but not much. Expressing how hungry he was along with a craving for pizza, we headed to a local Harvard dive joint for a slice. We chatted a bit about this and that but there was clearly a disconnection. His eyes were bloodshot red and glassy and his mind was clearly in another dimension. Is it me or his body putting him in this funk? Perhaps if he said “hey, I’m really sorry about the change in plans and me being a grump, I’m just really not feeling well, but I’d like to make it up to you.”

That never happened.

The moment he devoured the last morsel of crust he declared “I’ve gotta go to sleep now! I’ll drive you home.” The mood was awkward due to any or all of the aforementioned reasons and I was wondering why we went out at all if he was going to be such a pill.

We pulled up to my apartment with no mention of his behavior or seeing me again. He may have acknowledged his lameness, but I’m not even sure that was accompanied with an apology. Hug and kiss on the cheek to follow (because he was sick or didn’t want to, I may never know), and I headed upstairs with an overwhelming feeling of disappointment.

Text me: Thanks for everything, sorry you weren’t feeling great L

Text him: Me too. Night.

Friday: Text Me: How are you feeling?

Text him: Ugh.

Text me: Anything I can do?

Text him: Just grabbed a large coffee, that should do the trick.

Text me: Hope you’re back up and running soon. Enjoy the show tonight.

Text him: Thanks.

Was his behavior simply the byproduct of feeling under the weather, exhausted and overworked or did something literally just switch off in his brain over the course of a few days from extreme flirting and expressions of what a great time we had and were going to have to ehhh….I’m gonna pass. How is it possible to go from steaming hot to frigid cold over the course of three days when nothing happened between us?

As much as I know this time it had absolutely nothing to do with me, my words or actions, it still stings when someone can so quickly and easily change direction and burst your bubble without blinking an eye.

…to be continued

Welcome One and All!

Hey everyone!

It’s been so exciting to see all my new Twitter followers and the kind words you have been throwing my way…..especially since sometimes I feel like I’m writing this for my own venting and or amusement!

For those interested in knowing my story without going back and reading the long list of posts, I say…. go back and read them, they’re funny! But if you choose not to I’ll give you the Cliff’s Notes (do they still make those?) version of what brings me to this forum.

A few years back, after returning from living overseas and ending a long and drawn out relationship, I decided to join the world of online dating. (Much to my chagrin and after much coaxing I should add). It was so fascinating and yet horrifying to comprehend strangers being brought together in such a forced and unnatural manner. I was such a nervous wreck, let’s just say, there was vodka involved before the date even started!

I recall my first date vividly, as he awkwardly told me about his years of therapy, disdain for his parents and inability to find a rewarding career. So you can imagine at this point how psyched I am to be on the receiving end! That coupled with his social shyness and literally digging out change and singles from the dusty inner linings of his pockets. He was sweet and wouldn’t take any money from me….but he literally left the waitress partial payment in quarters.

It took off from there, as I would rush home after a night out and tell the outlandish stories to my friends, much to their delight. As the guys got stranger, the stories got better until I reached the point where I was so exhausted by telling the same story repeatedly, that I just started to write about them in a mixed journal/story format and sent out email letters. It didn’t take long to learn from rookie mistakes (never go out with someone with only one photo, especially if it’s B&W), and become the master of my own domain, as pathetic an honor as it sounds. Granted my experiences were in New York City, but as hard as I tried to find someone relatively sane, the options were limited and I quickly surmised you cannot judge a book by its online profile photo!

A dark sense of humor and sarcasm brought me to the conclusion that nothing was worse than a boring date. Someone that I had little or nothing to talk about. I’d rather have a great date or a really bad date than a blah date. At least the bad dates are laughable (not usually at that moment, but at some subsequent time after). I’ve even been accused of intentionally picking bad guys as to give myself fodder for the blog. I can assure you that is the furthest thing from the truth.

Over time, I have found great guys and weasels. Everything from cross-dressers, ex-cons, and so-called alien abductees to rocket scientists, writers and possible mob members. Experienced every type of date from splitting the cost of a beer ($5) to dining at some of Manhattan’s finest restaurants to getting on Amtrak and traveling to the Mohegan Sun casino to see a concert. All on first dates!

I’m a skeptic, yet a romantic at heart. I want to find love, but I’ve waited this long. So each time I fall down I pick myself up again, wipe myself off and cynically think….“NEXT!” So I hope you enjoy my dating adventures – tales of love and lust with a few life lessons thrown in after the fact. I will continue to somehow scrounge up enough energy to go out and meet new men even though the process exhausts me as I search for my best friend and hopefully future partner.

I welcome and encourage feedback and comments and hope you enjoy the ride!



What a Fool Believes

My head hurts.

I had an in-depth conversation with The Cowboy about….well….this n’ that. I was beginning to feel as though he was avoiding me, evading questions, not making much of an effort etc. and I was convinced he was slowly pulling the plug from the middle of the cord. Just a little tug, a slight wrench…enough to loosen himself to make the final extraction. I fucking hate that. If you’re into it, then be into it, if you’re not then yank it out (literally or philosophically) and get on with it!

We made plans because I asked him out, wanting to see him in person and wanting to get a vibe on whether or not I was imagining this doomsday scenario. I was ready to hear the truth, good or bad, and would prefer to know now, before I invest any further time or energy into this “relationship.” Shit or get off the pot, as they say in certain circles.

We talked….and talked…..and talked and talked. And I’m still not sure where we stand and what lies ahead for us. He looked at me as though I had two heads, what on Earth was I talking about? Avoiding me? Playing cool? Certainly not…or not intentionally as he says. I look at it as we have been dating a month, he adds up the actual “days” and says we’ve been seeing each other a week. We’re both right, it’s just two sides of the same coin. Mars and Venus. He’s dating other people, admittedly so. I don’t have the desire to serial date. In my mind, after 5 or 6 dates, one should be able to determine if you want to continue seeing a person or move on. I’m not talking marriage, just dating for Christ’s sake. I don’t think I’m being rash, premature or unreasonable. But he’s not ready. He needs to move slowly. Geeeez Louise…

Says he wants to get to know me better. Meanwhile, if we are only causally dating once a week, how long is that going to take? I don’t mean to sound impatient, but I’m not a kid. I know what I want, I’m not afraid of taking chances and I don’t suffer fools kindly….especially if that fool is me. I’m not going to chase him or any one else for that matter, but I’m not going to sit around and wait either. I’m in a pickle, you could say.

I believe in his sincerity, he hasn’t uttered a word of bullshit to me yet. I like that about him. The flip side of that is he also won’t tell me what I want to hear for the sake of placating me. Damned if you do or don’t, of course I realize this irony in my twisted brain.

Thing is, I’m not sure if he’s right for me, if we’re compatible or if our world’s are simply too far apart. He’s Texas slow…and I’m NY fast…..can we co-exist and meet in the middle? No idea. But my philosophy is that I’ll never know without trying. Sure I’ve gone down that slippery slope before, but it’s the only way I can live a life of no (or few) regrets.

As we sat outside on a crisp early Spring night, I had a moment where the light and the wind hit him in such a way that for the first time I looked at him and thought…..ya know, he really is cute! And it was at that moment I knew I was fucked. When you realize you are looking at them in that way, you just know you’ve crossed the line of liking and really liking someone.

So he’s digesting what I’ve said. And I’m considering my options.

And like the sands through the hourglass….so are the days of our lives.