Not long ago I discovered a profile online that, quite frankly, seemed too good to be true. Alas, the optimistic romantic in me had no reason to not believe what he said. Late 40’s, handsome widower, professional, no kids etc etc. He wrote about his quest to find love again, how his wife died x number of years ago and he wants to spoil a woman with love, tenderness and affection. Treat her right and show her how gentlemen still exist and chivalry is far from dead. Nothing suspicious about the profile, it was just a bit gushy and over the top for my taste. I chalked it up to the guy being so heartbroken about losing his wife and being new to the dating game.
He writes me and immediately tells me we should text – better than emailing on Match. When he gives me his number it’s from the LA area. Hmmm….”do you live in NY or Cali?” I ask. He gave some long-winded explanation that boiled down to him just moving from LA to NY two weeks ago. Here are some outtakes of the text conversations. They progressively got stranger and his English got progressively worse – neither are good signs.
Him: “I don’t know much around. but it’s quite an interesting place…hope I can find the right woman.
You are quite interesting….have you found a match that suits you online?
You have such a kind and beautiful heart…it will be a dream come true
I’m not a cynical New Yorker, I will use that to my advantage but also take it through your heart and mind….what do you think?
You don’t have to underestimate the power of love…it’s beyond our definition….maybe if we give it a shot
Are you scared of falling in love? I will look at my time schedule then think of a plan out….how was your day?
Believe me it’s worth it all but I won’t disappoint you…you can take a risk
Don’t you think love itself is about risk?”
I’ve omitted my part of the conversation because, does it really matter? WTF kinds of responses are these? Who speaks like this? And his remarks were not even related to what I was talking about. Surely the sign of someone whose native language is other than English. These responses were also over the course of several days that never led to him actually asking me out. I lost interest and became creeped out with the last comment about love and risk taking.
That was that and I moved on. No more than a day or two later I received another email from another late 40’s, professional, handsome widower also pouring his heart out. Only he emailed me this bizarre form letter and also gave me an email saying we should communicate off of match.com.
Good Morning Pretty,
How are you doing? I can’t help but say you are beautiful. I have wondered for years without a possible cure to my heart aches and emotional pains, until stumbled on your enchanting and very exquisite profile, I dream of love, love that inspires, love that makes you feel passion and desire, love that makes you feel complete. I have so much love, tenderness, warmth inside of me and I want to give this to some one special like you. I have viewed your profile and you seem like someone who has a lot of the same interests as I do. I have a daughter called Anna she is very close to me. and it has been very hard to find someone that sparks my interest. I feel that life is too short to be lonely and I would love to find someone caring and respectful to spend some time with. I just join this site to find someone who I will love and care for. I also don’t like drama or complications. I desire to find a woman who is respectful, sincere above all most be honest and it would be nice to find a friend to laugh with, dine with and someone who shares the same interests as I do. I’m easy to get along with, pleasant personality and I consider myself a good man.
I am currently online now and I will really want us to talk. You can reply me to my personal email address firstname.lastname@example.org, or add me to your personal email address so we can get to know each other better. your mail will put a smile on my face……
You can text me ..(315) xxx-xxxx
Hmmm….two widowers, both with the same stats, very handsome, both want to chat offline, both with out of area phone numbers, both over the top ridiculous chit-chat about love with a complete stranger. I ignored it.
The next day both profiles were taken down off match. Was this a precursor to some Liberian Prince financial scam? A serial killer in the midst? A bored guy in prison looking to fill his hour of free Internet allotted for the week? Or just some turd looking to pray on lonely, naïve women by telling them what they think we want to hear?
I have no ending to the story, no idea what their motives were but surely something wasn’t kosher. For anyone that wonders why internet dating is so challenging (or scary or exhausting) this is just one example. Reason enough to convince myself...if it seems to good to be true….
It’s likely a con artist or sociopath in the making.